Fun in the Sun!

After that highly eventful first days of chag...

So Tuesday we were supposed to go to Parrot Jungle- which is this giant wildlife reserve with PENGUINS!, and tropical birds of all sorts- apparently the whole place was trashed after one gargantuan hurricane a few years ago, and all these birds escaped into the wild, and of course now they've reproduced, so now you just randomly see these pretty colored birds flying around Miami...- but then we ended up babysitting while the mommies went to a funeral. These kids think I'm their aunt...they call their parents Mommy and Tatty, and my parents are Abba and "Avowa Mowah"- or "Morah Devorah"...then in the afternoon we went to the beach and bought a kite!- it's also a PENGUIN!- and flew that...or tried to...for a while. We got laughed at by a bunch of six-year-olds, but we did eventually get the hang of it. Lots of good footage for Rachel's video diary.

Wednesday was concert day- Ima dropped us off at the beach early on, and the place was so deserted we had about 30 yards of beach all to ourselves !- then we went back and left for the Shwekey concert...which didn't start until 6:30 or so, but Ima decided we should get there at 4 so we could find parking. The kiddie programming was already running, but Ima wouldn't let me ride a pony. 'Course, the ponies were about my size, possibly even a bit smaller. Abba and Yerachmiel were working the hashgacha, so we at least got to see them on and off. And then we ran into Chana Berns and Little Berns! I was sitting near the entrance and people-watching, and all of a sudden I'm like, hey, that looks like Rochel's hair from the back- oh wait, it is her- maybe she came with a friend or something...(because I'd just spoken to Chana and thought she'd said she was going to Hollywood that evening). So yeah, that was nice. The star of the concert was definitely the two-year-old son of one of the auxiliary singers, who came up on stage with his Abba and jammed with his own little guitar.

Thursday we took Leah out bowling! Ima was going completely the other direction to meet some friends, so she made me take the car. Now let us just say- I do not live in Miami- I do not know where anything is- well, besides my house, the shul across the street, Yerachmiel's yeshiva, and the neighbors' house.
"Lost" is beyond understated. "Hopelessly, pathetically lost" might be a bit warmer. We spent about an hour circling the neighborhood without finding the bowling alley, managing to find every random "turn-only" lane in the vicinity- so we eventually pulled over and called Esther for help. Finally found the place, parked, bowled...Leah's really good! We should have gotten the bumpers only for the rest of us! Then went back to the Cohens' (aforementioned neighbors) and had a barbeque while watching the kids splash around in the pool and makeshift waterslide. [Instructions: Deposit Fisher-Price playset into pool. Hook hose onto ladder. Slide down and splash.] Rented Enchanted- and I barely sang along the whole movie! Possibly because Ima kept elbowing me to shush.

Friday was get-ready-for-chag-again day, so we went back to the house and I cleaned the pool, then we went back to the hotel and I straightened my hair because Ima had her heart set on it...

Out of all these families that had the caterer for the first days, only one was getting meals for the last days- and there was no where in that building for us to eat. (Oops.) So Abba and Yerachmiel packed up all sorts of stuff (score on that cholent, baby brother!) and we ate in the hotel- kinda cute; we had a tablecloth and all the fixings and just shlepped it out to the lounge area on a luggage cart at each meal. Went to shul (found a different shul a teeny bit closer- as in, a mile away instead of a mile and a half- but also a really pretty walk. Second day about the same; didn't take any long meandering walks around the entire perimeter of the mall this time...This time had remembered to borrow books from the Cohens, because Ima doesn't have a library card and I ran out of things to read on the first day of yom tov...

And then it was all over. And we went to Publix. And I got chocolate pudding to bring back to NY with me. And the security man at the airport took it away.

Monday tried to clean the pool; we discovered it was beyond normal cleaning; Yerachmiel spent the day blasting the filter with a hose and dumping can after can of chlorine into the pool...so no swimming. =(
Packing, and all that other fun stuff- like finding out that the spring clothes I put away over Sukkos when they didn't fit- fit me now! So I brought back all that. And raiding the pantry for the good stuff to bring to NY. And, of course, Wal-Mart.

Tuesday morning packing, then Yerachmiel drove us to school to see Ima and meet her class. She's been promising them for months that they'll get to meet the famous Sara Adina and Yerachmiel whose books are all over the classroom, and this was her chance. Cute kids. Whatever.
Got to the airport, second suitcase was a bit underweight, so I thought I'd take the giant Microbio textbook out of my backpack [incidentally, said textbook was ordered no less than five times over the course of the semester- the first one came and was the study guide, the second and fourth were canceled orders, the third just never showed up, and I ordered this one again a week before Pesach to be shipped to Florida- it came as we were heading out the door to the hotel, yay!] and put it in my suitcase. Voila! A 45.5 lb. suitcase was suddenly 52 pounds and the agent wouldn't let it through. Back into the backpack, then...

Then the security man took my chocolate pudding. But let through all kinds of makeup, hand creams, Benadryl, and a foil-wrapped package that a nuclear bomb couldn't have gotten into [it was veal chops that Abba sent me home with so I wouldn't have to shop/cook the rest of the week. These caterers throw out everything, so he just took it home].

Flew into Atlanta, flight was delayed- yay!, longer stopover- but still not long enough to leave the airport. We tried to get bumped onto the next flight, and I really wanted that compensatory free ticket to go visit Tamar...but then we got on the plane. As we're sitting and waiting, Rachel notices "that really tall Jewish guy"- I don't even look up from my book, and say "yeah, I went to middle school with him"- turns out that half the Atlanta YU contingent were on the next flight out, leaving from the gate next door.

Oddly enough, our flight was delayed about two hours, but we only landed 45 minutes late...got home, unpacked, and it's back to the grindstone!

Hope everyone's chag was great!
-SA

Lessons From a Caterer

This week, I have learned how not to be a Pesach caterer. This would have made a great comedy show, if only it wasn't so pathetic...and chag, so I couldn't film anything.

1) When making arrangements for the rabbi and his family, make the reservation sooner than an hour and a half before Shabbos. And preferably less than a mile and a half away.
2) Lock the truck. Always lock the truck. 'Cuz you can't blame the mashgiach for making you throw out a truck-full of food when your idiot drove off with it.
3) 6 PM does not equal 12:00 noon on anyone's watch. So when you have to be out of the commissary at noon, get out at noon. Especially erev Shabbos.
4) How dumb do you think the rabbi is? He's not going to fall for the "but, Rabbi, it's kosher, it's from Annie's Bakery- it's kosher for Passover!", regarding that open, unlabeled loaf of what looks (and smells) just like honey-whole-wheat bread. And it is not wise to try to shove past him with it. Yay, Abba!
5) If you're bringing in a mashgiach with a family for a week...it might be a good idea to remember to feed them. "Oh, you mean you were supposed to eat here?" (We literally raided one group's second seder as soon as they left the room, because the kitchen forgot to save stuff for us.)
6) Bring a site manager. Just because the mashgiach is the only one wearing a jacket and tie does not mean he's going to take the fall for all your ineptitude.
7) In that vein...when you order supplies- bring them with you! Don't leave 'em in the commissary ten miles away and then complain you don't have enough! And again, don't blame the rabbi when he won't let you go to Publix and buy more yom tov afternoon...

We got to see all kinds of shenanigans this week...my personal favorite was the steak-plate frisbee.

More later!
-SA

Musings of a Florida-Bound Traveler

Here I am at the airport! Home, sweet, LaGuardia...

Why is it that when you leave home three hours before your flight, you end up sitting in the terminal for two of those hours; but if you leave two hours before the flight, you make it with seconds to spare?
Honestly- the last time I went through security so quickly I was in Albany...where there are only three terminals, one consisting of exactly three gates, another of eight.

I think I remembered to pack everything this time- including my list of everything I packed. I probably ought to start putting a copy of that into each suitcase...

TV time! Film Rachel for her videography class.

Sitting, waiting...enter first pack of Pesach travelers. Note bug-eyed lady with cool shirt (Dear Dorothy: Hate Oz, Took the Shoes: Find Your Own *&%$ Way Home. -Love Toto)- at other end of room, starting first sandwich.

Call Brussels and Kagans- got homesick for the Holy Land.

Second wave of Pesach travelers. I go to check out the spread at the newsstand; cave and buy the new Jodi Picoult book; somehow find the fortitude to save it for the flight.

Look over at barefoot man. Nice shoes- those old-fashioned looking brown brogans. There's a portrait forming in my head- a little kid, just learning to walk, in overalls- wearing those shoes and looking down at his foot with one foot slightly lifted in curiosity.
Realize that I can't take that picture without the kid, overalls, lights and background, permission to use the shoes...oh, yeah- and a working camera.

Bug-eyed lady is on sandwich #2.
Third wave of Pesach travelers.

Frum family sits at next bank of chairs. Cute blonde two-year-old moseys on over and promptly makes friends with them...and the lady across from us, and me, and the flight crew...shows off her Nemo and Dory fruit snacks.

Bug-eyed lafy on sandwich #3.
Announcement: "Attention, all passengers for flight 377 to Atlanta: Look out the window! That is your plane! We'll try for a really quick servicing and get you on there as soon as possible."

10:03 flight now scheduled for 10:23 AM...we're assured that we'll still arrive on time, but keep in mind our 31-minute stopover in Atlanta (the largest and second busiest airport in the world). Hopefully we'll be in the same terminal. Please, G-d...please.

Bug-eyed lady finished breakfast. Now staring vacantly at the wall. Looks oddly complacent. Drugs?

Boarding the plane!!!

On the plane...ask the flight attendant if we'll be landing on time, or close to, as I have a connection. Her reply? "Sorry!"...and laughs. Find my seat- all the way in the back, window. Tov.

If that kid in front of me lowers her seat back, I'll kick it back into position. She and her two sisters are blasting the plane radio, belting out some tuneless Miley Cyrus song.
Yay! Empty seat next to me!
Yay! Leaving the gate!

Hm...maybe we can manage to drop a couple of these little girls off at 40,000 feet. And their parents are totally spacing out.

Waiting to take off. Wondering why the plane is, literally, moving backwards.

Remember that 31-minute stopover?
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently on line for takeoff, approximately number 30-40 in line. We expect to get into the air in another half hour or so.
Grrrr.
Maybe we'll be on Tova's connecting flight.

Take off 11:20. How I managed to fall asleep with those pint-sized preadolescent screechy buggers hollering, ("OOOH, we're moving! No, we're not! Can you close the window? Uh, uh! Look, here we go! I'm nauseous! What if we don't make the plane? We'll have to stay in Geoorgiaaa! Roll down the window shade! Life's what you make it...tune to number twenny, there's a really good song! No!!! Go to 31! I see the Statue of Liberty- Aaahhhhh!!! Eeeek!)- is completely beyond me.

Yeah. I think we'll be aiming for Tova's flight.

And we're exactly one half-hour late. Oops. Get off plane, immediately are handed new tickets for the next connecting flight- yay, Airtran!
Hang out at terminal for a zillion years...realize that Tova's on Delta- whoops, guess we won't be on her flight.

Finally home!
Yay, Florida!

Epic Saga of The Three-Day Chag to follow...
-SA

You Ever Get That Feeling?

Like you've just entered the Twilight Zone?

So I'm babysitting yesterday, and taking advantage of the gorgeous weather to take the kid for a stroll in Central Park, and I'm pushing the stroller along the rim of the Great Lawn, and all of a sudden- zoooom! Cue that scene from Enchanted, except with about two dozen mommies running while racing their thousand-dollar strollers... I think my head was spinning, and I most definitely did a double take... Weird.

Leaving for Florida tomorrow!

Really in the mood for chocolate pudding. Going to get soy milk!

-SA